Chunky Breakfast Shake on Columbus Day

Today is the first of what looks like many three-day weekends around this place. Well, most three-day weekends turn into four-day "training holidays" once PT school starts.

This weekend, and today included, is mostly for cleanup around the house. The place is coming together, but it is clear that the gym side of the house was a higher priority than the rest of it. Although the backyard looks like a ninja training ground, the house was looking like a place where small dogs are brought to train to become efficient rat hunters. Boxes and piles were strewn all over, and with Petra gone a good chunk of last week there was zero to negative improvement in the neatness department. I did, however, get the mother of all squat stands, which now resides in the indoor portion of the gym.

Oh, by the way, here is the workout for yesterday:

3x5 Squat, Bench press, bent over barbell row. Warm up with jumping rope and some yoga and stretching. This is what the workout is going to be looking like for a while -squatting every time, alternating vertical pulls/presses with horizontal pulls/presses, and doing deadlifts every other time- as it is now time to put some meat on on the Chicken's bones. We can start talking about weights when they look respectable. I will still do metabolic conditioning, but the focus now is raw strength. That, and my new gas-powered weed wacker, of course, will find me feeling manly.

Solo Cindy

It's lonely at the top, or at least it's lonely at the house right now. Matt, gym builder extraordinaire, left Monday, and Petra went on a business trip to Denver the next day. So I am by myself for the next few days. Watch out for destructive behavior, chewing, anxious barking, gnawing at my own coat and skin, to follow.

The workout, all by my lonesome, to christen the backyard gym (aka, "The Complex," until a better name is suggested):

Cindy
As many rounds as possible (AMRAP) 20 minutes
5 Pull Ups
10 Push ups
15 Squats

10 rounds plus 5 pull ups.

An now I have to go, because this chicken is getting ready to start OBLC -medical officer boot camp- in about an hour. Today will start with just a weigh-in, but I'll let you know if anything interesting happens.

The Chicken is back in bidness!

The prodigal son has returned from a blogless (at least this blog) adventure in the Alps. Summary: Walked a lot, had some beer. I was fun.

Now I am in the Army, and back in the blogosphere to stay.

The wife and I now live in San Antonio, TX, and I will be in the Army's physical therapy program. Before that, however, there are a few things that need to, or have already happened. I got commissioned (or demoted to, as many ex-enlisted say) to 2nd LT in the Army. This happened on September 20th, and since then it has been getting the house in order -more on that below- before OBLC (Officer Basic Leadership Course), also known as boot camp for Army medical types. That starts Wednesday, and I will fill you in as it goes.

More importantly, Petra and I are back on a diet of pain in the form of a steady crossfit routine, and to make up for the fact that we are no longer able to saunter over to D-Town everyday, we have turned our backyard into a crossfit gym to rival many small boxes out there. Matt, of course, was both involved and somewhat abused in the process.

It started with a U-haul. Matt and I met in Denver, loaded my stuff into a slightly-too-small moving truck, and drove to San Antonio without stopping for anything more than some late night fear, bad food and gasoline.

We got into town 20 hours later, rested a little, and started a week-long project. I could go into details, but let's just say that we, without any injuries or death, although there was a jiu jitsu style clinch for a moment on the first evening, got some things done.

At this time there is a four-station pull up rig, two trapezes for hanging rings, a gorgeous 8-strand, 18 foot, self-made rope station, and an Olympic weight lifting platform in our back yard. Add to that 460 pounds of bumpers, two bars, two sets of wooden rings, and a squat rack and bench, and the only thing holding me back is reduced HGH levels, and that is no excuse, really.

I will try and get some pictures up.

Aside from that, stand by for the new 50-part series "The Chicken Goes to Boot Camp."

I will keep y'all posted.

R

Days 57-59: Break and return

Day 57-58: Break

Day 59: 21-15-9 Overhead squats (65#) and pull ups. 12:29

Not much else to say about the workout.

We are starting to seriously tie up our Denver operations, though, but I will certainly post more about this later. I am sad to move, because I love my friends here and also the place, but looking forward to the adventure.

Mixed.

Day 58: Who hit me with a stick?

I woke up this morning feeling as if I had done three hours of Jiu Jitsu, and for good reason. My lower body felt great, but my neck and shoulders were somewhat of a wreck. I got most of one class in today, and it appears that Matt and I have begun our taper off of the main site. It has been a blast, and although it is not yet over, we have let June be a bit more loosey goosey. Don't go away, though, as there is sure to be some excitement coming up in the next couple of weeks, and anyway, I am not yet ready to do a full post op summary.

Day 57: Feels like home

Tonight was my blue belt test for Jiu Jitsu. The test went well, and I spent far less time under the blanket than I thought. I was the skinniest little monkey at the test, and this can be a bit strenuous. We started off by rolling to warm up, and one of us rolled with the professor, while the others rolled with one another. This went on for a full half hour, and half hour of that can get your breath pumping. After that, we each were asked for our go-to escapes and submissions from each position. The professor asked us to explain thoroughly (didn't anybody warn him about me?) as we showed him our moves. I found myself talking a bit more than the others, but that is just because it is me. I used to be really uncomfortable with the fact that I speak almost without pause, but at one point about 6 years ago I learned to deal with it. I would say things like "I will not talk so much starting tomorrow!" It never worked, so I finally gave up and started liking myself. Anyway, I explained thoroughly, and it seemed to go well. I did a little over three hours of BJJ this day, and it felt like I was right where I should be on a regular basis, just rolling for the sheer joy of it. I am looking forward to a blue belt, though.

Days 51-56:

Day 51: or, why must we deal with stupidity?

The prescribed workout: Skip once, do a crossword puzzle, chew a raw root vegetable 71 times, climb a ladder with your teeth, say the Hail Mary twice, throw a Hail Hary pass once, trim your big toenails. Repeat, following the pattern of cutting toenails biggest to smallest, until all toenails have been clipped.

Actually, it was three rounds for time of:
60 seconds L-sit
45 pound barbell Good mornings, 30 reps
60 Abmat sit-ups
25 pound plate Back Extensions, 30 reps

But considering that this seemingly simple workout requires three sets of mobile gear for each person doing the workout, my version would have been easier to pull off.

Instead, we did skill work on the rings (dips and muscle up progression) and parallettes (l-sits to handstands [Ha!]). I was so sore the next day, that I almost wished I had been clipping my toenails and climbing a ladder with my teeth.

Day 52: Rest

Day 53: Deez Nutts

Apparently somebody else died, because we got to do a hero workout today. It is called "Nutts" after a Canadian (what's that all aboot?) Lt. who died in an IED attack. In crossfit, when a dead hero's name pops up, it means it's going to be a bad day.

For time My numbers in parentheses:
10 Handstand push-ups
250 pound Deadlift, 15 reps (I did 185#)
25 Box jumps, 30 inch box (25 @ 24")
50 Pull-ups (35)
100 Wallball shots, 20 pounds, 10' (70 @ 14#)
200 Double-unders (60)
Run 400 meters with a 45lb plate (25#)

This hurt, but most of all, I let my cockiness get the best of me (shocker!) I tried double unders instead of jumping over an obstacle, and it took long enough that I actually felt myself age. I should keep working on them, I suppose.

Day 54: Goin' off the res again.

We, except Scott, all went off the main site today, and back to one of the most basic beginner Crossfit workouts: 7 minute AMRAP (as many rounds as possible), 7 burpees and 7 thrusters (65#) I got 4 rounds and 10 reps. That was pretty painful and humbling, and reminded me that "much to learn, have [I]."

Day 55: Resting up for this week's blue belt test.

Did a little skill development (double unders) while Petra and Scott suffered through a disgusting excuse for exercise, called "The Seven." Look it up on crossfit.com, because it hurts even to write it down.

Day 56: My blue belt test should be either today or tomorrow. The academy was closed for the entire three day weekend, so there is more rust on top of an already impressive accumulation of rust on my Jiu Jitsu skills. The gist of the test is supposed to be as follows: Do and explain (are they searching for teachers, perhaps?) your main go-to moves from each fundamental position. I should be able to attack from the mount, feet, guard (the sexiest of Jiu Jitsu positions, almost, but not quite rivaled by the "gift wrap") and back, and also to defend from the opposite of all these positions. Then we train for an hour, and I am sure that this is where the professor, affectionately known as "The Wet Blanket" will crush us for extended periods of time. I am not sure if I will like that part yet, because, as you might have guessed, it feels like a wet down comforter has come to life, and no matter what you do, there is still an inescapable, oppressive presence everywhere you go. Wish me luck. (fade in main theme from Rocky)

Day 50: Does the whole gym have to watch me squat?

5 x 5 Back Squat (We did box squats)

I don't even want to talk about it. Light. I couldn't get any weaker, so why would I bother posting my loads? Some day I might disclose, but I am just not ready yet. I will just say that Matt chose a very light weight, and made me do it correctly. The journey of a thousand steps, yada, yada, blah, blah.....

Days 43-49: Is this really making me stronger?

I am not sure if I am getting stronger or weaker, but on the positive side, I am sore a good chunk of the time.

Day 43: "Tommy V" (scaled). 12-9-6 Thrusters (85#), rope climbs or 4 strict pull ups (Scott!!!) for each rope climb. This sucked so bad that I decided to stop writing about exercise forever. I got over it. I don't remember the time, but it was not impressive, unless, of course, you are an endurance athlete.

Day 44:"Annie" 50-40-30-20-10 Double unders and sit ups. 7:45 (Matt was our bitch*, see below)

I never started working on double unders until the day after this workout (they are coming along nicely now, thank you), so I set up two 45# plates flat on the ground, and put a loaded (or is it laden, I always hated this distinction. I am loaded, I shouldn't drive, but my truck is laden. Should it drive? Should I stop loading my truck?) bar on top. This makes a 15 inch or so obstacle to jump back and forth over, and if you say "whoosh, whoosh!" really fast and loud every time you jump, it feels like a very strenuous double under. This is, according to BrandX, a legit substitute.

*Matt had a dilemma to ponder. Should he do double unders and risk being torn up by Scotty and having no excuse, or should he go the obstacle route, and try to beat Rob at the only event he comes close to owning, sit ups. Watching him do double unders is like watching one of those movies where a child valiantly struggles through some terminal disease, eventually cheating death, but looking really rough in the process. There are points in the film where we are sure the brave boy will never make it, cries of "what will we do without him," and "we won't give up on you, Billy" are uttered, and yet nobody ever pulls the plug. A dog in the same condition would have been put down long before, and yet the audience, while sad, still derives some measure of sick pleasure from the suffering it witnesses. Cathartic, to say the least, yet draining. Such is the nature of Matt's double unders.

The brave boy chose double unders, and when we look at the times (Rob: 7:45, Scott: 8:36, Matt: Still going [18 minutes and change, I think), we might say it is time for him to go the obstacle route, or start practicing his double unders, because there is no way to explain his way out of this.

Day 45: Rest

Day 46: Humility returns to Rob's game

Prescribed: 20 x 185# shoulder to overhead, 40 Burpees for time. Rob: 95#, Scott: 135#, Matt: 115# (I think).

I thought I was going to die. Matt and Scott were very encouraging cheering me through my last 25 burpees, but then again, they had already caught their breath by that time.

Day 47: Sinister. 4 rounds for time 400 meters, 30 Squats (Rx'd 50 squats)

Came in dead last. This workout is twisted and cruel. My legs felt surprisingly good the next day, though.

Day 48: 21-15-9 Handstand push ups (band rig, two bands), ring dips (one band) and push ups (the old-fashioned way).

15 minutes and change. This is the upper body version of yesterday's cruel excuse for a workout.

Day 49: Rest.

Day 42: Olympic lifting is not an easy day

Today: 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 Clean and Jerk

This means find your max, and I found the amount that is above mine 4 times.

115-125-1st failed attempts at 135, 2nd, 3rd,......

I had the weight almost to the top every time, but could not quite do it. Jason Cox, however, was into the ludicrous range (205# and kept trying 235#, but not quite, buddy!)

Petra PR'd at 95#, and I watched her get a kipping (well, kipping is kind of a strong word, here) pull up. That is her first one. Fire it up, baby!

Day 40: The Art of Scaling (When Matt Feels Like It)

The main site workout was made up by some lunatic, so we scaled it.

3 Rounds, 400M run, 21 1.5 pood kettle bell swings, 20 pull ups.

20 minutes and change. Also, it was pissing down rain like nobody's business, so we felt like bad asses on the run, and looked like crazies doing laps of the block shirtless and glistening.

And with a little prodding, Scott made Matt his bitch, but only by a couple of seconds. It is going to get rough around D-town soon.

Day 41: Rest, with an hour of Jiu Jitsu.

Day 39: Where the hell have I been

None of your business. Actually, that leg thing was worse than I thought, and ended up with a couple of interesting days, indeed. The leg went partially numb, very tingly, and now appears to be mostly back. We have determined that the cause is a rare condition known as "Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Withdrawals," and can only be treated by doing BJJ, or becoming the kind of person who does not do BJJ at all. A week of BJJ has not helped the tingling in my lower leg, but I feel much, much better. It could be how much time I have spent choking Matt out, but whatever it is, I am glad to be back in the game.

As for the challenge:

Day 34: AKA, this game is stupid.

Crosfit total (added together, best back squat, shoulder press, dead lift)
I failed miserably. I did not realize how weak my leg was, threw a perfectly reasonable weight on the bar for my first attempt, and could not get up without assistance. There was a little confusion at the bottom, but I should not have failed the weight either way. I got down, and somebody said down (which is what most people say when you have REACHED the bottom), and I understood it as "go deeper." I have developed an irritating habit up barking "up" when somebody is all the way down, but everybody else, I now know, says "down." Oops. So I squatted until my butt cheeks -isn't that a funny term- touched my calves (moo, moo). I stayed there. I figured this was an aberration caused by an excess of cheek to calfness, so I put a few more pounds on and failed again. #3 I tried with way less weight, and called for my mommy at the bottom. I was inwardly, well, maybe a little outwardly, furious at my inability to get very little weight up. I may have said "fuck" and stalked around a little, but this is conjecture. There was no use in going on with the total, and I decided that crossfit and all excercise sucked, and that I would just let myself get soft again.

Day 35: Self imposed rest day.

The site called for 1 mile run, 2k row, 1 mile run. I decided to go to the magical mystery rower location with Petra, Scott and Black ops Mary, and at least help mark off a one mile run for them, and act as support. I thought while I was there, I might as well row the 2k, just nice and easy. 8:25 was the time, which it turns out, is not nice and easy. I saw a tire in there and thought "oh, I have never flipped a tire before." So I rolled it into the gym, and flipped it back and forth 50 times. Some rest day. Team America tore that workout a new asshole, and I was much impressed with all of their performances.

Day 36: Petra's and my 7th anniversary. We have been together for a little over ten years, but married for 7 now, so we had a couple drinks and went to sushi. Around midnight I vomited violently for the first time in many years. That sucked, and Petra lay awake the rest of the night wondering when her time would come, but it never did. Happy anniversary, baby!

Day 37: Rest

Day 38: Back in the shit full time, leg be damned.

5 muscle ups (box behind, toe assist), 10 cleans (115#), 220 meter run.

I tried to kill myself on this one, and damn near did it. 20:49, if you don't count the few minutes of spitting up and dry heaving at the end. It was raining, and we were bad asses (in our minds).

Day 39: Karen (150 20# wallballs for time) 14:46

This gets really hard, really fast. Matt and I tried the new, fluffy 20# balls, while Scott did his first 100 with our old, sand-filled 25 pounders. Matt and I went to Jiu Jitsu, and were promptly required to do 100 crunches and a push up wheelbarrow race across the mat. Sadists.

All in all, I am glad to be back in the swing of things.

Days twenty something through huh huh mrahh.

The Bobby took a cycle off due to jacked up leg from last week. That crap will catch up with you, I'll tell you. This is the part where I am supposed to be filled with self-loathing, but I am not. It is good to rest some times.

Just found out I made the blue belt promotion list at Jiu Jitsu, so I will have to get crackin' this month! It's time to start choking some suckas! Matt? Are you out there?

Day 29: Pull Bitch!

Leg issues (that I did not complain about in association with my suck ass 5k time, but now seem to be alluding to, or outright mentioning, really) persist. Couldn't do snatches, so I substituted this for today's wod:

100 pull ups for time: 16:45

The others did 21-15-9 Squat snatches/Pull ups

The first 45 pull ups sucked. The ones after that were worse. The fellowship is restored, for now, after Matt and Mary's week-long vacation, and while taking a full 20 minutes or so to get moving, all members were very motivational.

You see, this crowd is not really the scream-like-a-crazy-idiot-and-they'll-get-the-weight-up crowd, but more of a combination of prodding, coaching, gentle motivating, and passive aggressive workout design. A good mix, indeed. Mary and Scott are motivators of great power, but few words. Matt coaches by keeping you on your toes. When you ask for input on what weight to use, one day he says "let's choose that weight carefully, so you get the most out of this," while other times he just looks at you and asks whether you've read the damned wod or not. This keeps you fired up, or at least too confused to focus on the pain. Petra has a non-threatening, but powerful style. When she says "you can do it, you're doing great," what I hear is "I like when you kiss me like that." It is just like I am doing everything right, but more of the same, please.

I was happy to see today that I could do 100 pull ups in a workout. Not in a row, of course -who could hang from the bar for 16 + minutes, after all- but I did get a couple shots if 10, a bunch of 8 in a row, and only one large, but not very deep flapper.

It was a good day, much better than yesterday. Also, it's good to have the family back.

Day 28: Proof that I suck

5k run. 32:10

Slower than everybody in the whole god damned world.

Days 26 and 27: !yad gohdnuorg s'tI

Day 26: Rest day. My legs are a hurtin'

Day 27: Day 24 in reverse, but just as much fun. 70 Burpees, 60 Sit-ups, 50 Kettlebell swings (1.5 pood), 40 Pull ups (They sucked) and 30 Handstand push ups (assisted band setup).

Time: 23:29. A full ten minutes faster than the same workout in the other direction, and all that with a small swarm of kids, one of whom stepped on me during my burpees, all around us. That is babysitting at D-town, I suppose.

Day 26: Riding a chicken has its disadvantages

Although delightful in appearance, often causing major distraction in the opposite sex and alternative same sex alike, my legs are not the strongest or most muscular part of my anatomy. If you saw the rest of me, you would understand the gravity of this last statement.

The workout: 5 sets of 3 front squats. 115 (why did I start so low), 135 (will I ever find a weight I can't do), 155 (Fail, first attempt. Scratch that thought at 135), back to 145 (barely made it, terrible form on the last one), 135 (great form again).

Petra got to 110 and Scott got up to 195, and it looked like he could have kept going up quite a bit more. You go, buddy.

Let's talk about me a little more, since it is my blog, and I am a megalomaniac (low grade). When I started crossfit back at the end of December (dabbling) or really January (post knee injury, but consistently about 3 times per week), I weighed about 163-165 pounds, depending on the day. I went in for a physical a couple of days ago, and came in at 172 pounds. That is 7-9 pounds difference, and although I am not the before and after picture on the blog kind of guy, I can see that I am carrying way less body fat. So I will conservatively say that I picked up 6 or 7 pounds of either lean muscle mass, or I have a very dense tumor (it's not a tumah!) somewhere. This works. I have been eating a paleo-like diet, mainly meats and veggies, but I am by no means strict about it. My clean has so far gone from 115 pounds to 145 pounds, my front squat yesterday was 3 for 145 pounds, while it was 4 for 105 back in, I think, January. I have not used a band for pull ups in quite a while, and I can do high-rep ring dips with one band now, having to use two to do a single one a couple of months ago. I still can't really do a solid ring dip, but if I cheat just a little on the depth......

As for my wife, she is turning into an animal. I have never seen her so strong, nor have I seen that much fire (in public ;) ) in her eyes. This is a good thing.

Scotty is another story. He has improved so drastically in a couple of months, it is scary. I am seeing the best of the old Scotty coming back, and the worst of the new melting away. Get some brother.

This is where I should thank Matt. He bugged me until I came to his gym. He is teaching me much, and I would like to return the favor. Here it goes:

Run, Matt, run. I am coming to fucking get you. I hope you can stay ahead, but I am not going to make it easy. R

Days 24 and 25: Sadistic bastards

Day 24: Petra, Scott and I were there with one newbie. 50 wall balls, 10 muscle ups (sub 3 jumping pull ups and 3 ring dips per muscle up, one band)40 wall ball, 8 muscle ups, 30 wall balls, 6 muscle ups, 20 wall balls, 4 muscle ups, 10 wall balls, 2 muscle ups. 32:15

We only have 25# and 14# balls, so we went with 25# for the boys (Dawson and Petra went 14#). My friend from school, Dawson, came and worked out with us. He appeared to have fun, almost too much fun, as he pulled ahead of the crowd drastically by the end of the first round. Rob's internal monologue: "Shit. Well, he is 20, and he only has a 14# ball." Dawson continues to pull away for one more round, and my internal monologue becomes more frantic. "I hate him! I... hate....him....soooooooo much. Ich hasse ihn!" I begin to focus on my wall balls instead of Dawson, and Start thinking that Scotty might be a better target (god knows I am not going to beat Petra). I channel my inner Matt, yank my shirt off -don't faint, girls- and begin grunting. Dawson suddenly forgets that he is younger, stronger and better looking (his hair is a mess at this point, while it is usually a remarkable engineering feat), and falls behind. My ego, large and in charge as ever, kicks in and I start pulling, pushing squatting and rubbing sand out of my eyes (we need some fancier wall balls one of these days) with reckless abandon. I finish a little ahead of Scott, further ahead of Dawson, and woefully behind my wife. I lie on the ground and think about how much Mikko Salo can say what he wants about post-workout behavior, and hope that he is freezing his ass off in Finland. I then go outside and spit up as a large group of boxers walks by, staring at me half amused, half horrified. These are the people who beat each other to soup up in the ring, and stare down at us on the crossfit side of the gym, clearly thinking we're nuts. We pay them the same compliment in return.

Day 25: The folks who program for the crossfit main site -remember, the challenge was to do the main site until our departure in June- are sick, twisted bastards. So today was what is known as a chipper. The basic concept is to do one workout after another, fatiguing yourself at each before moving on.

The workout: 30 Handstand push ups, 40 Pull ups, 50 kettlebell swings, 1.5 pood (hehe, he pood), 60 sit ups, and 70 burpees. 1.5 pood is about 53 pounds, or much like 7 gallons of water at the end of a small handle. 32:36

Scotty and Petra somehow convinced me to come in at 6:00AM after an evening workout last night. What is wrong with them? After a good deal of dawdling, I finally agreed to start working out. I tried a very cool band-assisted handstand push up rig, and it made 30 hspus possible for me. Scott and played leap frog for most of the game, but on the burpees we did our impression of a zombie movie. Scott played the scared teenager, and I played the undead. Scotty jumped into the ring and tore off ten lightning fast burpees, while I settled into a slow, steady pace, not stopping for more than a couple of seconds until burpee number 60. I made sure to clap loudly every time. Scott would sprint off, look as if he would die for about half a minute, and then sprint off again. We followed the George Romero zombie chase scene script to the letter, but in the end, the zombie failed to catch his quarry. I did, however, graze his hair as he slammed the door on me. He got me by two burpees. Watch it, Scotty. Zombies always come back until you cut their head off with an axe; I'll see you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next....

Days 22 and 23: Dog days

Day 22: 3 rounds, 15 cleans (95#) and 15 burpees. 8:36.

Day 23: 5 rounds, 20 yards walk with 115#, 35 knees to elbows, and 50 double unders (still working on these, so I did the jumping sideways over an obstacle thing instead).

Aside from that, I am watching Denver's famous blog dog himself, Tour (Go to www.mydogindenverdaily.com). He poops, and I pick it up with an inverted bag. It's warm and yucky, but that is not his fault. One day in, I still love the dog, but I don't think I'll want a dog of my own any time soon.

19, 20 and 21: Turdness

Day 19: Supposed to be a very cool workout, but it did not go.

Every minute on the minute cleans, as heavy as possible. Score = lowest plus highest. Matt and Scott tore this one up and tied. Matt's superior (just ask him) technique kept pace with Scott's brute force. Some day, though, Scott will get his form down, perhaps he'll show me what to do when he does, and then it will get ugly in D-Town.

I did my first warm up and felt my back muscles reach down and punch me in the asshole, and I mean hard. I replaced this workout with 5 x 5 shoulder press.

Day 20: A welcome rest.

Day 21: 3 rounds for time of 5 squats and 20 ring dips. I did front squats @ 95# (I think I am ready for more, but was favoring the back for what was, hopefully, the last time. I did the dips with one band. 100 ring dips will get your attention, let me tell ya'.

Day 18: Just the facts, Ma'am

Three rounds for time:

100' walking lunge
50 Squats
25 Back extensions

The only problem is that I did not notice until the end of round 2 -and only did so when prompted by Matt- that I was supposed to do 25, not 50 back extensions. To cool to read the board, I guess.

12:22

Days 16 and 17: Keeping it neutral

16: Rest

17: AMRAP in 12 minutes

3 Pull ups (5# hanging)
50 M Sprint
3 Handstand push up negatives

7 rounds

That is all.

Day 15: Blog frequency examined

How often should one update his blog?

Blog dog says: "I like your blog, but I wish you would keep it updated, though."

Matt says: "I should read your blog some day."

Lovetoknow.com (http://socialnetworking.lovetoknow.com/Blog_Etiquette), the web's leader in this sort of thing, or, at least it was the only source I could find within two minutes that said anything about blogging frequency, says the following:

"Regularly update your blog: Want readers to come back for more? Then make sure you update it on a regular basis, roughly two or three times a week."

Unfortunately, it also says this:

"Never blog about blogging: Keep your topics to interesting items such as music, current events, lifestyles, religion, food, technology or something else that will appeal to readers."

So in my search for the truth, I have "committed one of the two great blunders: First, never get involved in a land war in Asia..." (If you cannot identify this quote's source, it is time to revisit the 80s) but second, I blogged about blogging. Shit.

Today:
Row 500 M four times, with 3 minutes rest between.

1:57, 1:59, 1:56.6, and 156.5. The other gentlemen, Matt "shoulders" Horgan and Scott "What the hell happened to me" Narreau, both rowed faster.

We have no rowers at D-Town, so our morning began with a quest: find rowers to use, preferably for cheap or free. Also, I wanted to see a commercial crossfit box. Keep in mind that D-Town, lacking rowers or not, is one hell of a gym. It is a gritty place where it is possible to truly discover pain, but I was curious about how a shiny operation functions.

First, Crossfit Flex said we could do a drop in for $10. Very cool of them, but we, for reasons I will bring up later, did not take them up on it. I talked to Kevin, and he was very cool, and had absolutely no reservations about helping us out.

As for Front Range Crossfit, I will simply say "What the fuck, Skip?"
I called them, got the owner, Skip, on the phone, and explained that Matt and I are garage crossfitters who "NO" don't have rowers "NO" and were interested in a drop in rates "NO" but we also wanted check out his facility "NO" because I had never "NO" seen "NO" a real "NO, NO" Crossfit "NO" gym before. He said no. Not only no, but "we only let members of our gym work out here."

Jesus, Skip, what about out of towners? What about people curious about Crossfit? What about just not being a complete and utter, but cordial jerk? That sucks, Skip, and if given the opportunity to direct somebody towards a Crossfit gym, yours, Front Range Crossfit, is not it.

Scott found a place with 6 rowers. A secret place, a special place, where the gym is filled with beautiful equipment, but oddly devoid of people. It felt like being one of only three men at a beach in Rio; it was lovely, at least until the rowing started.

The concept two rower is a torture device, and that is all I will say about it. If I had any energy to turn my head to the side while lying on the ground afterward, I would have vomited. I didn't, though, and therefore spared myself some cleanup. I want one.

Day 14:

Today was supposed to be AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 30 minutes of:

5 185# (275 prescribed) Deadlift
13 Push ups
9 24" Box jumps

Because my back said no, I did:

5 Squats
13 Push ups
9 Step ups (18")

15 rounds. Major modifications, but still a rough workout.

Scott and Matt did the 185# and the jumps.

Nothing else to report.

Day 13: Hello lower back

Today's workout: The Filthy 50, with Matt, Scott (tawdry 25, you lazy sow!) and me.

For time:
50 Box jump, 24 inch box
50 Jumping pull-ups
50 Kettlebell swings, 1 pood
Walking Lunge, 50 steps
50 Knees to elbows
50 Push press, 45 pounds
50 Back extensions
50 Wall ball shots, 20 pound ball
50 Burpees
50 Double unders (replaced with side to side jumps over a milk crate)

The clock, the high-tech, Matt-got-for-his-birthday-and-we-can't-fucking-figure-it-out-to-save-our-damned-lives-clock stopped at 20 minutes, so I am not sure what my time was. It is probably around 40 or so minutes. At least next time will be a pr. For some reason, though, Matt and I failed to bring water, but Scott saved our lives (maybe a bit overstated) when he produced a gallon of clear magic from his truck. Thanks, dude.

Unfortunately, I tweaked my back. I felt it two days ago, but at the end of this workout it was definitely tweaked. I am hoping it is better tomorrow. Waaaah, waaaah, haaaa, mommy, owie! Ok, I got that out of my system.

Day 12: Chillin' with my Chemistry peeps

This was a rest day, unless you count Chemistry and Physics. I am becoming even less of a Chem fan as the semester progresses, but as I have said before -before I went back to school, in fact- these are the last undergraduate classes I will ever take. In September I will start my DPT through the Army, but until then I am stuck in community college hell. I sometimes with I were disaffected enough to spend my class time texting and surfing the web on my laptop, but as long as I can live vicariously through those to my left and right in class who are already doing so, I can feel like I am really a part of the community college experience. Aside from that, if I do not pay attention in Chem, I would never pass. It is not really hard, but it just keeps on coming. Four more weeks and it is over.

Day 11: Hehe! He said "snatch."

Snatch balance, really. 7 x 1, and find your max. Mine was 95#. My sister used to do 95# before she got strong. Shit.

Day 10: And on the 7th day he (should have) rested.

Today's workout: 15 dumbbell split cleans (35#) and 21 pull ups. 4 Rounds (Also known as Erin, but scaled back one round). I forgot my time.

We also had an open house today (anybody need a nice Victorian condo in Denver?). Note to real estate agent: 1. Don't leave the toilet seat up. 2. Learn to use the brush if the toilet is not the same color when you get up. Streaks and the toilet seat up? Isn't this some kind of contradiction? This is worse than coming home and noticing that somebody sat on our bed with their dirty street clothes.

I wrote a haiku about it:

This is not your house
Selling is your only task
take a poop at home

Day 9: Upside down, boy you turn me....

The workout: 5 rounds of 20 squats (85 lbs) and one minute of handstand against the wall. Prescribed: 135 lbs and 20 yards walking on you hands.

Can't walk on my hands, so we came up with something upside down that also gets that feeling going. This was difficult, but fun, too.

Before the workout I spent almost 5 hours on a chemistry field trip. I will never get those hours back.

Also, music man was arrested again today, this time because he assaulted one of the people he lives with. The wheels of justice grind slowly, but exceedingly fine. Blah, blah, blah.....

Day 8: The Right to Bear Arms

Hung up a clock (the mother of all clocks).

Looked at some guns.

Had a great dinner with Petra and Matt.

Rubbed pepper spray on my face.

On the last point, I bought some pepper spray, and was curious if it worked, so I took a couple of practice shots, sprayed it on my hands, and rubbed some on my face. I just wanted to experience some of the effects, and they suck. Now I can't get my hands near my face (or other sensitive areas, I'm sure). I am sure that this, if used in the prescribed manner, will get somebody's attention. Even my hands are burning. Well, I hope that I do not do any scratching in the middle of the night, because this shit does not seem to wash off easily.

Day 7: Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself

Nobody came close to being my bitch today, except perhaps me.

DT: 12 Deadlifts, 9 Cleans, 6 jerks times 5 rounds. 115 lbs (155 prescribed)31:45.

Many would describe this workout as a fucked up thing to do to yourself. They are right. I am glad that tomorrow is a day off.

Perhaps a little Blake is in order, just to fire me up:

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare sieze the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Bring that shit on (that was me [or I, if you insist], not Blake)!

Day 6: Matt Was Almost My Bitch

Had to modify tonight's workout.

Prescribed: 500 M row, 150 double unders, 50 burpees.

Mine: 50 sumo deadlift highpulls (45 lbs) 450 singles, 50 burpees.

Time: 17 min and change.

Came home to some homemade cookies, and tore them up. Add a little goat milk: heaven.

Aside from that, the music man was released from jail this morning, and I am very curious how long he will behave. I'll keep you posted.

Day 5: Fall of the Empire

I landed on my ass twice during tonight's workout, and that isn't even counting the hour of jiu jitsu that I did. Oddly enough, failing overhead squats is a serious confidence builder.

5 sets of 5 overhead squats, and I only bailed twice.

85,95,100(3), 95, 95 (1), and 75, just to get the form back in order.

Nothing else to report.

Day 4: Body rested, brain snapped.

Rest day, or something like it.

Day 3, or "My time in the joint"

I worked out in the Jefferson County Jail today, and aside from the two deputies, I would not have known the difference.

I did, however, see Matt trade clothing with an inanimate object. It was the jail gym version of wanting the shirt of the mannequin, but without the shirt actually fitting.

The workout:

10/1 25 Pound dumbbell clean and jerks/Pull ups, 9/2, 8/3, 7/3.........1/10
he pull ups were supposed to be weighted, but I pulled off two 25 lb pull ups before realizing that body weight was more than adequate. It took about 23 minutes, and did not suck anything close to yesterday's workout. Perhaps the next couple of months will be ok, after all.

I accompanied Mary and Petra to the D-Town gym, and realized that I am not equipped to jump rope with boxers on, nor am I very coordinated.

Days 0, 1 and 2

Thursday, I took a day off from Jiu Jitsu, crossfit, and spent most of the day focused on consuming food. All in all not a bad day, then I was, yet again, overcome with a disturbing lack of structure in my life. It may have been the combination of spring break and my nagging sense of ennui, but I started thinking that the next couple months would be best spent putting myself through an inordinate amount of pain in the form of the crossfit.com WOD. I have already been working out fairly hard for about a year, but I think it is time to take it higher. I started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu early last year, and crossfit in December, but with 40 knocking on the door, and Army officer basic coming up in September, my particular brand of midlife crisis kicked in. No Corvette and 20 year old girlfriend for me though, I would simply like to be able to, if needed, chase down and tear a younger man's head off with my bare hands. Perhaps not the noblest goal, I'll be the first to admit, but much less complicated than the other option. Either way, I decided to hit it hard, three on one off, until I leave Denver.

Day one:

Tabata Something Else:
In order: Pull ups, push ups, sit ups, squats. 8 rounds of 30 seconds each, 20 seconds on, 10 seconds of rest (8 of each exercise, total 32 rounds). Rest one minute between exercises. The score is the worst set of each added up.
Score: 36 (4,7,15,10). Clearly, sit ups are not an issue for me, but everything else is.

Day two:

Run 1600 meters, rest 3 minutes, run 1200 meters, rest 2 minutes, run 800 meters, rest one minute, run 400 meters.

Time: 28:02. This averages out to 8:45 miles.

I have enjoyed having my ass kicked more than I enjoyed this.

Scratching the Surface

I started this blog for a couple of reasons: To ramble about whatever comes to mind, but also to log my daily workouts. Regarding the latter, I started following the crossfit main site as of 4/2/2010, and intend to do so until my wife and I depart for our hiking trip to Germany on June 15th. After that, it would appear that there will be some rock lifting, branch pull ups and push ups going on. For the next 9 weeks, though, I have wrangled a good friend -we hadn't even been drinking- into following the crossfit.com workout of the day, and will log all of the workouts here. That is, unless I forget to do so. On on.