Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Day 50: Does the whole gym have to watch me squat?

5 x 5 Back Squat (We did box squats)

I don't even want to talk about it. Light. I couldn't get any weaker, so why would I bother posting my loads? Some day I might disclose, but I am just not ready yet. I will just say that Matt chose a very light weight, and made me do it correctly. The journey of a thousand steps, yada, yada, blah, blah.....

Monday, May 24, 2010

Days 43-49: Is this really making me stronger?

I am not sure if I am getting stronger or weaker, but on the positive side, I am sore a good chunk of the time.

Day 43: "Tommy V" (scaled). 12-9-6 Thrusters (85#), rope climbs or 4 strict pull ups (Scott!!!) for each rope climb. This sucked so bad that I decided to stop writing about exercise forever. I got over it. I don't remember the time, but it was not impressive, unless, of course, you are an endurance athlete.

Day 44:"Annie" 50-40-30-20-10 Double unders and sit ups. 7:45 (Matt was our bitch*, see below)

I never started working on double unders until the day after this workout (they are coming along nicely now, thank you), so I set up two 45# plates flat on the ground, and put a loaded (or is it laden, I always hated this distinction. I am loaded, I shouldn't drive, but my truck is laden. Should it drive? Should I stop loading my truck?) bar on top. This makes a 15 inch or so obstacle to jump back and forth over, and if you say "whoosh, whoosh!" really fast and loud every time you jump, it feels like a very strenuous double under. This is, according to BrandX, a legit substitute.

*Matt had a dilemma to ponder. Should he do double unders and risk being torn up by Scotty and having no excuse, or should he go the obstacle route, and try to beat Rob at the only event he comes close to owning, sit ups. Watching him do double unders is like watching one of those movies where a child valiantly struggles through some terminal disease, eventually cheating death, but looking really rough in the process. There are points in the film where we are sure the brave boy will never make it, cries of "what will we do without him," and "we won't give up on you, Billy" are uttered, and yet nobody ever pulls the plug. A dog in the same condition would have been put down long before, and yet the audience, while sad, still derives some measure of sick pleasure from the suffering it witnesses. Cathartic, to say the least, yet draining. Such is the nature of Matt's double unders.

The brave boy chose double unders, and when we look at the times (Rob: 7:45, Scott: 8:36, Matt: Still going [18 minutes and change, I think), we might say it is time for him to go the obstacle route, or start practicing his double unders, because there is no way to explain his way out of this.

Day 45: Rest

Day 46: Humility returns to Rob's game

Prescribed: 20 x 185# shoulder to overhead, 40 Burpees for time. Rob: 95#, Scott: 135#, Matt: 115# (I think).

I thought I was going to die. Matt and Scott were very encouraging cheering me through my last 25 burpees, but then again, they had already caught their breath by that time.

Day 47: Sinister. 4 rounds for time 400 meters, 30 Squats (Rx'd 50 squats)

Came in dead last. This workout is twisted and cruel. My legs felt surprisingly good the next day, though.

Day 48: 21-15-9 Handstand push ups (band rig, two bands), ring dips (one band) and push ups (the old-fashioned way).

15 minutes and change. This is the upper body version of yesterday's cruel excuse for a workout.

Day 49: Rest.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Day 42: Olympic lifting is not an easy day

Today: 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 Clean and Jerk

This means find your max, and I found the amount that is above mine 4 times.

115-125-1st failed attempts at 135, 2nd, 3rd,......

I had the weight almost to the top every time, but could not quite do it. Jason Cox, however, was into the ludicrous range (205# and kept trying 235#, but not quite, buddy!)

Petra PR'd at 95#, and I watched her get a kipping (well, kipping is kind of a strong word, here) pull up. That is her first one. Fire it up, baby!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Day 40: The Art of Scaling (When Matt Feels Like It)

The main site workout was made up by some lunatic, so we scaled it.

3 Rounds, 400M run, 21 1.5 pood kettle bell swings, 20 pull ups.

20 minutes and change. Also, it was pissing down rain like nobody's business, so we felt like bad asses on the run, and looked like crazies doing laps of the block shirtless and glistening.

And with a little prodding, Scott made Matt his bitch, but only by a couple of seconds. It is going to get rough around D-town soon.

Day 41: Rest, with an hour of Jiu Jitsu.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Day 39: Where the hell have I been

None of your business. Actually, that leg thing was worse than I thought, and ended up with a couple of interesting days, indeed. The leg went partially numb, very tingly, and now appears to be mostly back. We have determined that the cause is a rare condition known as "Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Withdrawals," and can only be treated by doing BJJ, or becoming the kind of person who does not do BJJ at all. A week of BJJ has not helped the tingling in my lower leg, but I feel much, much better. It could be how much time I have spent choking Matt out, but whatever it is, I am glad to be back in the game.

As for the challenge:

Day 34: AKA, this game is stupid.

Crosfit total (added together, best back squat, shoulder press, dead lift)
I failed miserably. I did not realize how weak my leg was, threw a perfectly reasonable weight on the bar for my first attempt, and could not get up without assistance. There was a little confusion at the bottom, but I should not have failed the weight either way. I got down, and somebody said down (which is what most people say when you have REACHED the bottom), and I understood it as "go deeper." I have developed an irritating habit up barking "up" when somebody is all the way down, but everybody else, I now know, says "down." Oops. So I squatted until my butt cheeks -isn't that a funny term- touched my calves (moo, moo). I stayed there. I figured this was an aberration caused by an excess of cheek to calfness, so I put a few more pounds on and failed again. #3 I tried with way less weight, and called for my mommy at the bottom. I was inwardly, well, maybe a little outwardly, furious at my inability to get very little weight up. I may have said "fuck" and stalked around a little, but this is conjecture. There was no use in going on with the total, and I decided that crossfit and all excercise sucked, and that I would just let myself get soft again.

Day 35: Self imposed rest day.

The site called for 1 mile run, 2k row, 1 mile run. I decided to go to the magical mystery rower location with Petra, Scott and Black ops Mary, and at least help mark off a one mile run for them, and act as support. I thought while I was there, I might as well row the 2k, just nice and easy. 8:25 was the time, which it turns out, is not nice and easy. I saw a tire in there and thought "oh, I have never flipped a tire before." So I rolled it into the gym, and flipped it back and forth 50 times. Some rest day. Team America tore that workout a new asshole, and I was much impressed with all of their performances.

Day 36: Petra's and my 7th anniversary. We have been together for a little over ten years, but married for 7 now, so we had a couple drinks and went to sushi. Around midnight I vomited violently for the first time in many years. That sucked, and Petra lay awake the rest of the night wondering when her time would come, but it never did. Happy anniversary, baby!

Day 37: Rest

Day 38: Back in the shit full time, leg be damned.

5 muscle ups (box behind, toe assist), 10 cleans (115#), 220 meter run.

I tried to kill myself on this one, and damn near did it. 20:49, if you don't count the few minutes of spitting up and dry heaving at the end. It was raining, and we were bad asses (in our minds).

Day 39: Karen (150 20# wallballs for time) 14:46

This gets really hard, really fast. Matt and I tried the new, fluffy 20# balls, while Scott did his first 100 with our old, sand-filled 25 pounders. Matt and I went to Jiu Jitsu, and were promptly required to do 100 crunches and a push up wheelbarrow race across the mat. Sadists.

All in all, I am glad to be back in the swing of things.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Days twenty something through huh huh mrahh.

The Bobby took a cycle off due to jacked up leg from last week. That crap will catch up with you, I'll tell you. This is the part where I am supposed to be filled with self-loathing, but I am not. It is good to rest some times.

Just found out I made the blue belt promotion list at Jiu Jitsu, so I will have to get crackin' this month! It's time to start choking some suckas! Matt? Are you out there?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Day 29: Pull Bitch!

Leg issues (that I did not complain about in association with my suck ass 5k time, but now seem to be alluding to, or outright mentioning, really) persist. Couldn't do snatches, so I substituted this for today's wod:

100 pull ups for time: 16:45

The others did 21-15-9 Squat snatches/Pull ups

The first 45 pull ups sucked. The ones after that were worse. The fellowship is restored, for now, after Matt and Mary's week-long vacation, and while taking a full 20 minutes or so to get moving, all members were very motivational.

You see, this crowd is not really the scream-like-a-crazy-idiot-and-they'll-get-the-weight-up crowd, but more of a combination of prodding, coaching, gentle motivating, and passive aggressive workout design. A good mix, indeed. Mary and Scott are motivators of great power, but few words. Matt coaches by keeping you on your toes. When you ask for input on what weight to use, one day he says "let's choose that weight carefully, so you get the most out of this," while other times he just looks at you and asks whether you've read the damned wod or not. This keeps you fired up, or at least too confused to focus on the pain. Petra has a non-threatening, but powerful style. When she says "you can do it, you're doing great," what I hear is "I like when you kiss me like that." It is just like I am doing everything right, but more of the same, please.

I was happy to see today that I could do 100 pull ups in a workout. Not in a row, of course -who could hang from the bar for 16 + minutes, after all- but I did get a couple shots if 10, a bunch of 8 in a row, and only one large, but not very deep flapper.

It was a good day, much better than yesterday. Also, it's good to have the family back.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Day 28: Proof that I suck

5k run. 32:10

Slower than everybody in the whole god damned world.